The Way The Cookie Crumbles

You may have noticed that this is a late post. And by 'you' I mean me and by 'late' I mean the next day, however, in my defence it is 1am so it could still constitute as the 10th. I can't even explain why I haven't blogged. It is inexplicably inexcusable that I have done nothing except cook dinner and watch comedy quiz shows on youtube and yet have failed at uploading something to this blog.

Moving on from that, I am awake at this ungodly hour because I am having a ridiculously hard time sleeping. Well that's not entirely true, I can sleep, I just can't get to sleep. Most nights I have to stay up until well past 2am in order to collapse with exhaustion and sleep until 11am. I think it is because of my incessant inner chatter.

No I'm not crazy, I am sure everyone has this inner monologue which plagues you with doubts: "Should I have... today?", "When she said this should I have said... instead of ....?", "I haven't spoken to... for a while. Should I text them or wait for them to text me?". ect... and this inane babble is what is keeping me awake, that and the fact that I haven't done anything in the day to tire myself out. I also have a very overactive imagination and my mind will create an alternate reality where I am on a panel show (wonder where I got that idea from) or tv show or am being interviewed and so my mind is filled with convoluted and false answers to unimportant questions which I've invented. With all that chatter I can't hear myself think or sleep because my own brain wakes me up.

It is incredibly annoying and I hope I'm not alone in this.

I also tend to get very vivid and energetic dreams which then, when I wake up, make me tired. For instance last night I had a dream about an Egyptian tomb and I had to get to it before the other people for some reason and I woke up feeling as if I actually had ran a marathon rather than dreaming it all.

So I don't know whether to text a friend who I've fallen out with first, or wait to see if they do. I don't know whether I should text to catch up with other friends because they never text me saying it. I don't know what to do about a guy who I'm getting over and a guy who I like. I don't know what to do if I ever go on a date. I have no clue about how to cope at uni or why I'm going for 4 years. I am terrified of the future. There, I said it.
It won't make me stop trying though. And even though I don't know a lot of things about my life, I do know that I really fancy a fried egg tomorrow for breakfast and I also know that everyone goes through this at some point so I'm sure I'll survive somehow...just "by singing in the rain."