Guess who's back?

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Hellooooo!
Wow well this feels weird. It's been what; a fair few months at least since I last posted on this blog. I almost forgot I had one and then remembered that the internet is FOREVER. Maybe a bit dramatic for my first one back but bare with me.
So, what's been happening since my last post, noone is wondering. Well, I reply to myself, lots and not much really. I know, another idiom which means nothing. Since my rather depressing realisation that everyone around me was changing and I was being a typical, plug in my earphones and grunt, teenager things have changed. 
I applied for another job (this time in events), my parents are well... no lets not drag that all up here. I can do another post on relationships with parents, heck I could probably write a whole book on it and still not quite understand.


So back to me, I got the job and then found out I had CFS (chronic fatigue syndrome if anyone can't be bothered to google) and had to leave the job I loved with people I loved working with. That's what I mean by not much happening but quite a bit. My world sort of imploded. I know it's not a death sentence but I can't help thinking those childish thoughts of 'but I CAN do it! I know I can! I just get a bit tired, that's all' and whilst that is ok in theory (battling through has always been my preferred coping mechanism) it's not very practical when 4 hours later you're passed out with the worst leg cramps you can imagine, crying uncontrollably because you have no energy and you have no idea if you can even get up, let alone walk anywhere. Now, I am not complaining. I know I could have it a lot worse but in those shattered dreams of running weekend or even week long events were my future. I am still going to uni and studying it because I am far too determined to turn back now, heck I even set up a new bank account for it. However, I feel like I am only know discovering how hard 'the real world' actually is. My childish dream was to be an actress/opera singer, my realistic dream was to be an event manager and now... who knows?

I have got my driving test next week so i will update you on that and I'm finding out small goals are way more rewarding than you might think. Even just 'going up town to get some gum' is good for me. 

 I tell you what though, I am having a much better time now than I was in February.


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About Me

"For God so loved the world that he gave his only son, that whosoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life" Hi! I'm a 21 year old student, and this blog is here to document my thoughts, feelings and events that happen in my life. I hope you'll enjoy reading them and get some comfort from knowing that you're not alone. So sit back, grab a cup of decaf tea and join me on this journey we call life.

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