Hi again,
Lately, to cope with the oppressive loneliness of my bedroom and the lack of alcohol in it, I have taken to watching an unhealthy amount of really old tv shows; one of which being 'The Inbetweeners'. Now I absolutely love that show. It's full of awkward teenage moments and brilliant clever comedy which relates to almost everyone... except me apparently.
Ok so yeah, maybe I was a tad optimistic that I would do a daily blog but I will perceiver. I know I've missed a couple of days but weekly is much more my style. Bridesmaid shopping was ok, tiring and disappointing but not the worst shopping experience I've ever had. Trying on dresses that were way too big for me gave me a small sense of smugness but they were all horrid so that was a downer.
I'm looking forward to the applicant day at Birmingham this week as it will be the first time I actually see the place I will be spending 3 and a bit years of my life.
It was another tiring day today, as in I was tired and I watched an emotional and highly tense episode of foyles war. I caught up with a friend today and I think we've managed to put the jealousy thing behind us, not least because she seems to be making more mistakes than me. But that's life isn't it so technically I should be annoyed that she's living more than me. My nail extension has just flung off, not the whole nail because I could cope with that, juts the colour gel on top. So i'm left with an emaciated acrylic tip which looks like my skin has grown around my nail....so weird and gross.
Will have to sort that out tomorrow. Did some actual exercise today in the form of a work out dvd and felt really hungry afterwards so idk if it helped.
I don't know when it happened but I have become obsessed with pop culture quiz shows. Never mind the buzzcocks, Was it something I said, the big fat quiz and QI have now taken over my life and I just find them so funny and interesting to watch. I also have taken a shine to Richard something who was on the IT crowd and is a hilarious comedian!
Ah well, should sleep now.
Talk soon
You may have noticed that this is a late post. And by 'you' I mean me and by 'late' I mean the next day, however, in my defence it is 1am so it could still constitute as the 10th. I can't even explain why I haven't blogged. It is inexplicably inexcusable that I have done nothing except cook dinner and watch comedy quiz shows on youtube and yet have failed at uploading something to this blog.
Moving on from that, I am awake at this ungodly hour because I am having a ridiculously hard time sleeping. Well that's not entirely true, I can sleep, I just can't get to sleep. Most nights I have to stay up until well past 2am in order to collapse with exhaustion and sleep until 11am. I think it is because of my incessant inner chatter.
No I'm not crazy, I am sure everyone has this inner monologue which plagues you with doubts: "Should I have... today?", "When she said this should I have said... instead of ....?", "I haven't spoken to... for a while. Should I text them or wait for them to text me?". ect... and this inane babble is what is keeping me awake, that and the fact that I haven't done anything in the day to tire myself out. I also have a very overactive imagination and my mind will create an alternate reality where I am on a panel show (wonder where I got that idea from) or tv show or am being interviewed and so my mind is filled with convoluted and false answers to unimportant questions which I've invented. With all that chatter I can't hear myself think or sleep because my own brain wakes me up.
It is incredibly annoying and I hope I'm not alone in this.
I also tend to get very vivid and energetic dreams which then, when I wake up, make me tired. For instance last night I had a dream about an Egyptian tomb and I had to get to it before the other people for some reason and I woke up feeling as if I actually had ran a marathon rather than dreaming it all.
So I don't know whether to text a friend who I've fallen out with first, or wait to see if they do. I don't know whether I should text to catch up with other friends because they never text me saying it. I don't know what to do about a guy who I'm getting over and a guy who I like. I don't know what to do if I ever go on a date. I have no clue about how to cope at uni or why I'm going for 4 years. I am terrified of the future. There, I said it.
It won't make me stop trying though. And even though I don't know a lot of things about my life, I do know that I really fancy a fried egg tomorrow for breakfast and I also know that everyone goes through this at some point so I'm sure I'll survive somehow...just "by singing in the rain."
ECook. Powered by Blogger.

About Me

"For God so loved the world that he gave his only son, that whosoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life" Hi! I'm a 21 year old student, and this blog is here to document my thoughts, feelings and events that happen in my life. I hope you'll enjoy reading them and get some comfort from knowing that you're not alone. So sit back, grab a cup of decaf tea and join me on this journey we call life.

Popular Posts

  • Open Letter to (some) Healthy People
    Hey so this letter was provoked by a comment someone said when I told them I have ME.  Me&X are casually talking and I mention that I...
  • The best decision I ever made
    I feel like every time I sit down to write on this blog, I am usually talking about changes in my life. I suppose life is mainly changes, fr...
  • Trusting again
    This is a topic which I often think about as trust has always been (and still continues to be) something I struggle with. Like many people,...