The Way The Cookie Crumbles

Hey everyone,
As you may or may not know I am a relatively new christian. I don't know when I stop being a new christian but I gave my life to God at the beginning of 2017. During the past year it's been a transformation of mind, soul and life. I don't know why I didn't do it earlier!! Because I wasn't as well versed in christian culture or theology I have learnt some things about being a new christian and navigating faith and the church which I hope makes things a little less confusing when your faith is young.

1. Find a church and give people a chance
This is number one because it was something I really struggled with as a new christian. I was weary of church politics and of people who seemed too judgmental and looked down on me. It hurt when people said that I wouldn't know what to do and I always felt like I missed out on a relationship with God for so many years longer than my peers. It hurt when people were too busy to chat; I had a rough month where it felt like no one cared anymore. Now I had been baptised, I was supposed to just get on with it. People didn't need to keep inviting me to things because it was now expected that I'd turn up. My heart knew that this was the enemy sewing seeds of doubt and division in my life, pushing me away from those who would help strengthen my faith but it was scary how quickly I closed off again. My advice to you is to keep pushing through it. Don't always wait for people to reach out first but message them! You'll be surprised how many people are willing to meet for an hour or two and chat about anything, God, uni, home, friends, relationships ect. If you really feel left out, say something! Don't keep the hurt inside, talk to a student worker or friend or someone in the church and pray through it. Pray against division and hurt. Community is so so important with faith at any stage. Don't give up on them.

2. Frustration is a gift
This is a bit of a tricky one but something I feel needs to be addressed. Not everyone will have a perfect relationship with God/Jesus/the holy spirit and not everyone will agree with everything in the bible. This is not a judgement of other Christians (as I am not a judgey person or have any right to be) but an observation. I do not have a perfect relationship with God. I sin and get frustrated at Him and go against what the holy spirit says in my heart sometimes. Maybe it was just me, but when I found community in Christ I thought everyone who had been Christians much longer than me would be experts at following the spirit and would want to do everything Jesus did. I thought I'd never keep up with the healing, outreach, evangelism, serving, 24hr prayers, non stop worship and generous giving. However, all people are going on their own journey and that's important to remember. Faith has nothing to do with how long you've believed or what group you lead, its a personal relationship with God. You may feel frustrated that you're trying to listen to the holy spirit and what God is saying but it feels like others aren't. Or that you really want to evangelise and get stuck into outreach and others are happy just staying in their church groups. Firstly, I will say never dampen that spirit and fire for God! Keep seeking Him out and even if others think you're mad, do it with wisdom. Secondly, it's ok that you're frustrated. Paul called out the churches he wrote to but he still loved them and prayed for them. You might be scared to speak up about something because you're new to it but don't be! (blog post about this coming soon) There are always others wanting to change too but are too scared/comfortable to do it without someone else speaking first. You have been given a great gift of not being comfortable with the way things are done, because it's new, so speak up with love. Pray about the change you want to see happen, pray with others about it, write about it, talk in a casual setting to your friends and see what they think, pray some more! If God is in it and leading it, amazing things can and will happen!!

3. Try not to be intimated
You will meet all sorts of people. People who know obscure bible verses off by heart; people who get prophesies at the drop of a hat; people who can stand up infront of everyone and say the word they feel God say to them; people who know the entire history of paul/the bible/ ancient rome/greece; and so on. These people can be very intimidating to new Christians trying to discern God's voice for the first time but remember they were there once. Everyone has their gifts and their calling. You don't have to be up on stage leading worship to have a strong foundation of faith or be a 'good' christian. It's awesome that God uses those people in that way but he made us all differently for different purposes. Don't get discouraged if you didn't know Mark was in the gospels or if you think a word has come from God and it doesn't connect with anyone. The first couple of times I prayed for healing, nothing seemed to happen at it was a tad awkward. I have never got the instant miracle spectacles (yet) but as long as we believe it can happen; God can heal; our hearts are right with Him and God can use us for his purpose then that's the best place to start. Also, in my experience, people won't tease you or judge you for stepping out and trying to learn. They want to cultivate that hunger for God not stamp it out.

4. Get to know your church community
As a new christian, other Christians are crucial to your faith journey. We weren't meant to be alone and the people who brought you to faith are put around you for a reason. They love you and they might not even know you yet so talk to them. Ask for a cup of tea catch up, cook them dinner, go to church events, small groups or mission and really see why these people love God. Everyone will have a story and they are beautiful! The church is somewhere that people who are passionate about God are gathered so basically its one of the greatest places to get advice, encouragement, prayer and healing (but not the only place!). There are always people who love what they do because the church doesn't pay millions so you have to love what you do to work in a church. If someone says to ask them when you need help: they mean it. If they say call me anytime: they mean it. If they say tell me what I can pray for: they mean it! These people have hearts where Jesus is King and no matter what, that binds us together.

I hope this helps clear up some things I struggled with at the start of my faith. There are many others so I will do another post later on next year.

Take care

Hey everyone, today I thought about talking about unknowns and God’s plan. Its quite relevant to most of us right now. I’m just about to move into my shared house and there have been a lot of uncertainty with my family so it’s something I’ve been thinking a lot about. Whether it’s moving job, career, relationships, health or leaving uni there are many unknowns in life. One of the hardest things I’ve had to accept is no matter how detailed your plans are you can never know everything that’s going to happen. You can think you know how something is going to turn out but it can always change. Now this doesn’t have to be scary:

Jerimiah 29 v 11: ‘For I know the plans I have for you, plans to give you hope and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’

The verse after I find useful as well ‘Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you’

God listens to us, he looks after and protects us. Isn’t that amazing! This all powerful, all loving literal God has got our backs. He has our future in his hands, and It’s for good!

Recently, I’ve found this concept a bit difficult because things can feel a bit senseless, that question of why is this happening? Where is God in this? I am definitely guilty of doubt, especially when things seem to lead to one path and then an almighty road block comes out of nowhere and you’re like ‘but I thought that’s what you wanted me to do God?’, ‘I’ve worked so hard at this’ ect. It sort of reminds me of a journey we went on when I was little with my dad. We’d been driving for a while and it was pretty stormy. There was signs saying road ahead flooded but we kept going. A man with a lorry waved us down and said that the road ahead was flooded too deep for our car. However, if we turned back now it would take us hours to get home and we were almost at our destination. So my dad drove straight into it and got stuck. The car started filling with water and he had flooded the engine. Basically, if he’d have listened to the man who knew what was ahead of us, we wouldn’t have ruined the car.

But instead of saying that my challenge to myself and you guys is to ask God to reveal himself in those unknowns and to pray for his help in trusting that he knows there is a better path for you.

Take care

I feel like every time I sit down to write on this blog, I am usually talking about changes in my life. I suppose life is mainly changes, from growing up to thinking differently about issues and gaining some much needed perspective, but I feel like my life is never stable or stays the same for very long. In the past this has both scared and excited me at the same time. This change is no different.

Hey so I wanted to talk about this for a while now. I feel like I don’t mention it as much as I used to but I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or CFS otherwise known as ME. Because of this illness it caused me to lose most of my memories, both short and long term, my strength, my personality and eventually my ability to walk. It was rough.
I only mention this because I think it’s a great metaphor for faith and walking with God. Everyone who has this illness is different, no one knows why it happens to some people and not others, no one knows what really causes it. It could literally be from having a virus like Glandgelar fever or like in my case from a traumatic event. Regardless of the cause it starts small with fatigue. You can’t do certain tasks anymore, you can’t think straight, you feel the need to sleep but it’s never restful and never fixes anything. Things then get steadily worse as the illness progresses. When I couldn’t walk anymore that was the lowest I think I’ve ever felt. It was like someone had taken every last part of me and my usefulness and I had nothing left. I know that being able to walk is a gift that most able bodied people take for granted, and when you don’t have it anymore its just awful. That’s what it was like when I walked away from God. I felt the connection break, the closeness drift. I felt like I couldn’t pray or read scripture or go to church, it got to the point where I couldn’t physically go into a church without feeling intense anxiety. Eventually through the love and dedication of some great Christian friends at the start of uni, I gave my life to God. Since then it’s been a roller-coaster of emotions and trusting God to lead my life was the best decision I have ever made.

Learning to walk again is still probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Putting one foot in front of the other and keeping my strength and balance is super hard if you have to learn from scratch. I felt like a child, like a toddler, wobbling, falling, crying. I had to be disciplined to keep my difficult diet and not eat anything that would harm my chances of getting better. I had to trust my Ocupational Therapist and myself as to what was best for my recovery. I had to build a firm foundation and work upon that, not go too far too quickly and end up back at square one. I had to choose who I surrounded myself with wisely. It was hard to leave certain people behind but if they were only pouring negativity and toxic thoughts into my mind I knew it was time to let them go. Most importantly, I had to believe that I would get to that place of recovery. I had to have faith that one day I would have the strength and energy to play with my nephew without collapsing. This isn’t just positive thoughts but actually, whole hearted faith that I WOULD get there. I visualised the end goal and I knew every sacrifice along the way was worth it.

None of this was easy. I am talking from a retrospective view but it took a long time to achieve, and I still have hard days now, but it was more than worth it. Learning to walk with God again can be very difficult as well. We have to be disciplined Hebrews 12 “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. “Make level paths for your feet,” so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.”

You have to be disciplined to keep the relationship with Jesus going and read that bible even when your head is foggy or you have no idea how this relates to anything in your life. To be disciplined and stop when you feel temptation take hold. I wasn’t allowed to eat meat, dairy, bread, sugar or caffeine for a whole year and sometimes that was easier than saying no to sin.

We are called to trust the Lord our God. Trust has always been difficult for me but faith is about trust. We have to fully believe that He has our best interests at heart and that the people he has placed around us care about us and our relationship with God. “Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.” Hebrews 10:23 In that same vein we need to have a strong foundation in faith. We have to be wise about our choices, not to go in too deep and then have nothing of substance there when the hard times strike. When it feels as though our world has been toppled we have to build from the ground up, from our solid and deep foundation in Jesus Christ.

Finally, we must fully and with a joyful heart believe that the end goal, the reward of eternal salvation and life in heaven is worth the sacrifices in our earthly lives. Elsewhere in Hebrews, Hebrews 11:6 “because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.” But there are so many examples of this in the bible. Galations 6:9 “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”; James 1:12 “Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.”; Romans 6:23 “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”; 2 Corrinthians 4:17 “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.” And I could go on and on but we’d be here all day.

Jesus died for us, for you, for me, for all of humanity and surely that is worth not giving in to sin? But do you know what’s even greater than that!! Even when we do stumble or fall like a toddler learning to walk again He picks us up and forgives us completely. Hebrews 10:17 “Their sins and lawless acts
I will remember no more.” He completely erases it from his memory. 1 John, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” He doesn’t say some or most he says ALL. Making mistakes is a part of life and learning to walk again. We all fall short of the Glory of God (Romans 3:23). But that doesn’t mean we give up. Everlasting life in relationship with Him in heaven is our greatest goal, our greatest reward.

So in closing I’d just ask that if you are struggling with something in your walk with God, don’t let it consume you. Just know that when you fix your eyes on Jesus, his light will guide your steps. And if you confess your sins, you will be forgiven.

Take care

The Way The Cookie Crumbles

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