Recently, I made a rather big decision of suspending my university course in order to try a year of therapy to help manage my condition. Whilst that was really difficult for me I was looking forward to my first group session. When you go through a two year investigation into your illness, you will grasp at any help you can get and this was my first leg up. 
I arrived on a rather windy November morning to a full waiting room. I was instantly intimidated as I signed in and was so glad I'd had the forethought to ask my mum to come with me. Very soon after that a lady called all the CFS/ME patients forward and I was surprised how many of us there were, as we headed up the stairs to a very stuffy, warm meeting room. The first thing that struck me was that I was the youngest there by a lot and that we were all women. We learnt later on that CFS/ME affects people aged 20-40 the most and women 4 times as much as men! Noone knows why, but then with this condition you learn that noone knows a lot about anything to do with it; causes, symptoms or even management. 
However, there is research being done and studies which makes me very hopeful for the future. Throughout the session we learnt about the condition, its history and how it affects us individually. I know this sounds strange, but it was very reassuring having someone nod in agreement or even say a symptom you have. I wasn't crazy after all! We had good discussions about how the condition affects social, psychological and physiological aspects of life, how others react to it and coping mechanisms. After the 2 hour long session (which was pleasantly interrupted by tea and biscuits) the gave us all an information sheet, booklet and activity diary to complete and send back. I felt so positive after going; I felt as if there is hope and I can get better. Once I send the diary off I know it will take 8-9 weeks to get an individual appointment, but I've always had to fight and I'm not about to give up now. 

 I think that sometimes you say you have a condition and people either think that that's it for you or that you can be magically cured. However, I know i will have to live with CFS for the rest of my life but I now know that it can't stop me. I have the power to control my symptoms and not let them control me. With relaxation techniques and graded exercise therapy I can prove people wrong and become anything I want to. I will fight universities who tell me I'll never cope; I will fight lecturers who tell me I'll never get the career I want and I will fight anyone who says that I should just give up or deal with it because I am my own person. I didn't ask for this, none of it is my fault so why should I apologize to anyone who chooses not to understand.  
Take care
x
So I decided it would be a good idea to blog about my experiences with CFS/ME and uni as it can be a very difficult time even if you don't have a disability. There isn't that much advice for students dealing with these sorts of conditions and I'm not sure if that's due to ignorance or there just not being a lot of information out there. But here are the 5 things you will probably encounter before and after being diagnosed. 

Hey guys, so a lot has happened since I last wrote. I've moved into halls, my sister has gotten married, I've changed course and I've been in lectures for two weeks! However, I'm getting ahead of myself. I want to do a week by week blog of what has been happening over the last month and where better to begin but....

The meeting that made me cry


So, this is the penultimate night I will spend in the family home. I honestly never thought down until this day. All the planning and packing and saying goodbye and last minute appointments and buying is nearly over. I always knew that this day would come, but I guess I never realised how I would feel or how my family would feel. I thought I would just go to university and that would be that. As if I would magically pack and teleport to halls. I didn't ever think that I would be feeling so many feelings!!
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About Me

"For God so loved the world that he gave his only son, that whosoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life" Hi! I'm a 21 year old student, and this blog is here to document my thoughts, feelings and events that happen in my life. I hope you'll enjoy reading them and get some comfort from knowing that you're not alone. So sit back, grab a cup of decaf tea and join me on this journey we call life.

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