The Way The Cookie Crumbles

As I write this, 'No Fear In Your Love' by the epic Jeremy Riddle is playing and I couldn't need that more. Bravery, is a topic which I have been thinking a lot about since making it my new years resolution. Is bravery confidence? Is it going to war? Is it risking our lives for someone? Or is it capturing that spider in your bathroom?

Well, I think there are some things which link all of the above. Aspects of bravery seem to be putting someone else or the long term, best result before your own fears. We've all had moments when we'd rather not do something, like go and ask the neighbors for the parcel your mate ordered or initiate a conversation with someone in a seminar you've never seen before. But the potential of making a new friend is worth the fear you might feel.

As Christians, we are told that God gives us a spirit 'not of fear but of power, love and self control' 2 Timothy 1:7, therefore, fear is from us being flawed humans not necessarily God's plan for us. It can be difficult to feel brave, especially when you are stepping out of your comfort zone or doing something new. But if you don't step out and test what God is saying to you, then you will never know the true bounty of what blessings He wants to pour into your life.

So, I have always been quite confident. From an early age, I loved attention and being in the spotlight. I would be the person that went over and talked to new people on the first day of school or tried different foods or activities even if I wasn't very good at them *coughskateboardingcough* but I always gave something new a go! I was confident when talking to older people, guys I fancied and going to new places on my own. However, I learnt through the past couple of years that though confidence is a big help, its not always the same as being brave.
The dictionary says brave means 'ready to face and endure danger or pain; showing courage'. When I was being confident I was focusing on my own abilities and qualities not necessarily ready to face danger or pain, especially not for other people. I feel like there is a huge emphasis on self confidence at the moment and whilst that is extremely useful being brave is much more rewarding. It is an act which puts someone or something else above yourself and your own abilities. I can be confident that I can perform CPR, but could I be brave enough to do it if I needed to? This is the kind of subtlety which I find fascinating in our language and culture!

I believe there is a reason that courage is specifically used in the bible. Courage, 'the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear; bravery.' This combines confidence and bravery as it is a quality you hold within yourself but also allows you to face the hard things that may come. To have courage is to know that you are not alone, that the positive outcome far outweighs any fear or pain you might face. I believe that God is that source of strength, He is the one who will never abandon us.
'For He Himself has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." So we may boldly say: "The LORD is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?"'Hebrews 13:5-6

So go in courage today! Be bold in your faith, with questions or chatting to your friends about what a relationship with God means to you. Above all be brave, for He has created a path for you to tread you just have to take those first steps, He'll be walking right beside you.

Take care

We made it! Welcome to a new calendar year! A full 365 days to live life and write essays. So as is customary on here I am doing a new year post to talk about what I've learnt in 2017 and my hopes for 2018.

This last year has been insane!! I feel like I say that after every year but whenever it gets to the 31st December I get a glorious reminder of how much can change in a year. I started 2017 scared but determined, I gave my life to God and I don't think I could fully comprehend what that would mean for my year. I got to be a witness to my friends and family and show through my life how much I had been changed by Him. I finished first year of University (woop!); turned 21; got to travel over the summer to visit friends; had a little retreat of my own in York; met so many amazing people who I learnt so much from; had an incredibly vulnerable and encouraging prophetic word; moved into a new house; got the opportunity to go to a fusion conference and be humbled by the teaching there; and countless other things which have only just started!!

I have been so thankful for the opportunities I have received this year and I have a couple of resolutions or goals going into this new year. I am going to leave the planning up to God as He's changed my direction many times before!

Bravery

I am going to be braver in 2018. I know that I am a brave person inherently and do and say things others would be fearful of but this year I want to use that bravery to be lead into new things with God. I am starting the worship team at church (after being pretty obviously lead there by God) and I wasted so much time being terrified of that purpose instead of thanking Him and fully committing to glorifying Him through it. This year I am going to try and be braver and fully step into the new and challenging things He has planned knowing that I am never alone.

Comparison

I objectively and rationally know that my life is mine and is marked out for me. I can't live other peoples and I wouldn't want to! But sometimes I see my friends graduating, getting married, having yet another child and I compare my journey to theirs. I start to think in terms of 'when I'm 25 I want to be x,y and z' and dwell on the things that I don't have rather than what gifts I do. In 2018, I'm going to focus on my path and understand that there is a reason why I am in university at 21 and not starting a graduate job. I can be glad for my friends whilst knowing that I do not need to hurry this path. There is much gladness and goodness where I am and I don't want to rush to the next thing and miss the things which are happening now.

Travel

Being able to travel over the summer was so freeing and made me able to clear my head and truly reflect. I know that there is a reason I love travelling alone so much and meeting new and interesting people on the way! I want to hold onto this joy and find adventure through travel in 2018 too!

Create

This is broad as I'm not entirely sure how or what but I have a burning desire to create! Whether in poetry, calligraphy, social media, blogging, song writing or script writing I want to do more. As an outlet for my spirit, but also as a way to understand my own perspective of the world. I really would love to keep learning piano as well and just keep creating even if no-one else wants to see it.

Listen

This year I want to build people up by listening to them more. I do think I'm good at this but through listening I learn so so much! Friendships can be deepened, hurt become healed and differences overcome through listening. I never claim to know everything and this year I want to listen to teachers and people and just let them speak. Let people who don't always get a word in space and make them feel as valued as they genuinely are. I hope to meet people whom I can listen to and feel full afterwards. I want 2018 to be the year that I spend every moment I can listening to God so that I might be aligned with his plan and purpose for me; that I might fall more in love with Him as I hear his word and spend time in His presence.

I hope that this new year will bring blessings for us all and I can't wait to see what 2018 will bring.

Take care

Hey everyone,
As you may or may not know I am a relatively new christian. I don't know when I stop being a new christian but I gave my life to God at the beginning of 2017. During the past year it's been a transformation of mind, soul and life. I don't know why I didn't do it earlier!! Because I wasn't as well versed in christian culture or theology I have learnt some things about being a new christian and navigating faith and the church which I hope makes things a little less confusing when your faith is young.

1. Find a church and give people a chance
This is number one because it was something I really struggled with as a new christian. I was weary of church politics and of people who seemed too judgmental and looked down on me. It hurt when people said that I wouldn't know what to do and I always felt like I missed out on a relationship with God for so many years longer than my peers. It hurt when people were too busy to chat; I had a rough month where it felt like no one cared anymore. Now I had been baptised, I was supposed to just get on with it. People didn't need to keep inviting me to things because it was now expected that I'd turn up. My heart knew that this was the enemy sewing seeds of doubt and division in my life, pushing me away from those who would help strengthen my faith but it was scary how quickly I closed off again. My advice to you is to keep pushing through it. Don't always wait for people to reach out first but message them! You'll be surprised how many people are willing to meet for an hour or two and chat about anything, God, uni, home, friends, relationships ect. If you really feel left out, say something! Don't keep the hurt inside, talk to a student worker or friend or someone in the church and pray through it. Pray against division and hurt. Community is so so important with faith at any stage. Don't give up on them.

2. Frustration is a gift
This is a bit of a tricky one but something I feel needs to be addressed. Not everyone will have a perfect relationship with God/Jesus/the holy spirit and not everyone will agree with everything in the bible. This is not a judgement of other Christians (as I am not a judgey person or have any right to be) but an observation. I do not have a perfect relationship with God. I sin and get frustrated at Him and go against what the holy spirit says in my heart sometimes. Maybe it was just me, but when I found community in Christ I thought everyone who had been Christians much longer than me would be experts at following the spirit and would want to do everything Jesus did. I thought I'd never keep up with the healing, outreach, evangelism, serving, 24hr prayers, non stop worship and generous giving. However, all people are going on their own journey and that's important to remember. Faith has nothing to do with how long you've believed or what group you lead, its a personal relationship with God. You may feel frustrated that you're trying to listen to the holy spirit and what God is saying but it feels like others aren't. Or that you really want to evangelise and get stuck into outreach and others are happy just staying in their church groups. Firstly, I will say never dampen that spirit and fire for God! Keep seeking Him out and even if others think you're mad, do it with wisdom. Secondly, it's ok that you're frustrated. Paul called out the churches he wrote to but he still loved them and prayed for them. You might be scared to speak up about something because you're new to it but don't be! (blog post about this coming soon) There are always others wanting to change too but are too scared/comfortable to do it without someone else speaking first. You have been given a great gift of not being comfortable with the way things are done, because it's new, so speak up with love. Pray about the change you want to see happen, pray with others about it, write about it, talk in a casual setting to your friends and see what they think, pray some more! If God is in it and leading it, amazing things can and will happen!!

3. Try not to be intimated
You will meet all sorts of people. People who know obscure bible verses off by heart; people who get prophesies at the drop of a hat; people who can stand up infront of everyone and say the word they feel God say to them; people who know the entire history of paul/the bible/ ancient rome/greece; and so on. These people can be very intimidating to new Christians trying to discern God's voice for the first time but remember they were there once. Everyone has their gifts and their calling. You don't have to be up on stage leading worship to have a strong foundation of faith or be a 'good' christian. It's awesome that God uses those people in that way but he made us all differently for different purposes. Don't get discouraged if you didn't know Mark was in the gospels or if you think a word has come from God and it doesn't connect with anyone. The first couple of times I prayed for healing, nothing seemed to happen at it was a tad awkward. I have never got the instant miracle spectacles (yet) but as long as we believe it can happen; God can heal; our hearts are right with Him and God can use us for his purpose then that's the best place to start. Also, in my experience, people won't tease you or judge you for stepping out and trying to learn. They want to cultivate that hunger for God not stamp it out.

4. Get to know your church community
As a new christian, other Christians are crucial to your faith journey. We weren't meant to be alone and the people who brought you to faith are put around you for a reason. They love you and they might not even know you yet so talk to them. Ask for a cup of tea catch up, cook them dinner, go to church events, small groups or mission and really see why these people love God. Everyone will have a story and they are beautiful! The church is somewhere that people who are passionate about God are gathered so basically its one of the greatest places to get advice, encouragement, prayer and healing (but not the only place!). There are always people who love what they do because the church doesn't pay millions so you have to love what you do to work in a church. If someone says to ask them when you need help: they mean it. If they say call me anytime: they mean it. If they say tell me what I can pray for: they mean it! These people have hearts where Jesus is King and no matter what, that binds us together.

I hope this helps clear up some things I struggled with at the start of my faith. There are many others so I will do another post later on next year.

Take care

Hey everyone, today I thought about talking about unknowns and God’s plan. Its quite relevant to most of us right now. I’m just about to move into my shared house and there have been a lot of uncertainty with my family so it’s something I’ve been thinking a lot about. Whether it’s moving job, career, relationships, health or leaving uni there are many unknowns in life. One of the hardest things I’ve had to accept is no matter how detailed your plans are you can never know everything that’s going to happen. You can think you know how something is going to turn out but it can always change. Now this doesn’t have to be scary:

Jerimiah 29 v 11: ‘For I know the plans I have for you, plans to give you hope and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’

The verse after I find useful as well ‘Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you’

God listens to us, he looks after and protects us. Isn’t that amazing! This all powerful, all loving literal God has got our backs. He has our future in his hands, and It’s for good!

Recently, I’ve found this concept a bit difficult because things can feel a bit senseless, that question of why is this happening? Where is God in this? I am definitely guilty of doubt, especially when things seem to lead to one path and then an almighty road block comes out of nowhere and you’re like ‘but I thought that’s what you wanted me to do God?’, ‘I’ve worked so hard at this’ ect. It sort of reminds me of a journey we went on when I was little with my dad. We’d been driving for a while and it was pretty stormy. There was signs saying road ahead flooded but we kept going. A man with a lorry waved us down and said that the road ahead was flooded too deep for our car. However, if we turned back now it would take us hours to get home and we were almost at our destination. So my dad drove straight into it and got stuck. The car started filling with water and he had flooded the engine. Basically, if he’d have listened to the man who knew what was ahead of us, we wouldn’t have ruined the car.

But instead of saying that my challenge to myself and you guys is to ask God to reveal himself in those unknowns and to pray for his help in trusting that he knows there is a better path for you.

Take care

The Way The Cookie Crumbles

Bravery

Comparison

Travel

Create

Listen

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